I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
