I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
