we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
