Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
