SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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