He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
