oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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