What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
