From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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