I'm so fucking centered right now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
