Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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