Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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