grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the liver wants what the liver wants
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
