I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
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