Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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