Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i barfeds in our rink
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
