are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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