i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I need a beard to bite.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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