Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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