it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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