I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
