just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
