I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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