the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
