Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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