READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
