im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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