awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
