I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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