I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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