We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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