Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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