Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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