woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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