Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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