I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
