If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Rumble strips road head = magical
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
