dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
