she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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