I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
