forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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