Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
