Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
