You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize