it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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