He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
