spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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