She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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