We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize