My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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