Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
they're like a gay fantastic four
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
