She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
