You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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