i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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