naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
