Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
