Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
