Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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