What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
