ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
